In the past three months I've experienced some sort of bone/joint pain in my right leg (the good leg !!). I've come to realize that if I take an Advil in the morning, the pain is in the back of my mind and I can continue with my life. So I do, when I remember.
My energy levels are still up. I managed to put Christmas stuff away in our basement. Don't get visions that it was swift and quick. It was slow but efficient. After the tenth trip down the stairs (backwards - don't get the wrong idea, I still don't brave the odds to go down a set of stairs with boxes on my hand facing forward) I was almost done. Big accomplishment.
I say big, because I did it on my own. I usually rely on my dear husband to do all the box lifting and outdoor stuff. But he broke his tibia in December. Had to have surgery and he's still recovering. The only way he can walk is with his crutches. This made me realize I had to step it up a little. Now I am in charge of taking care of him. So I had to make Christmas magic happen on Christmas Eve. Then put everything away. The one day that we got a big dump of snow, I was the one shoveling it outside with the children. I also got to go out and watch them having fun on the sleds. It hasn't all been red roses. I've cursed a little under my breath. But things are getting done.
The big news that happened almost two weeks ago is that I made a conscious effort of leaving my cane home when I went out a couple of times. And I was ok. I'm so used to use a cane, been doing it for about 3 years now. Maybe I've been ready for this for a while, but every time I go out the door, it's an automatic action. I grab the cane. This time I made a point of looking at it, and think, 'no way Supercane, you're staying here today'. And I didn't fall, no one looked at me funny, I have two hands again .. and it feels Awesome !!
Best reward ever. We went get pizza with my two girls one night, and one of them holds my right hand while walking to the store. Then she freezes. Stops. Looks at me in awe !! Your cane !! You don't have your cane !! If I could have taken a picture of her face. Stunned. Happy. Delight. 'Mummy doesn't need a cane anymore !!'.
So happy.
As you all may know, I live in Canada. It's winter. And we finally got snow, a lot of it. I did ponder when we got the first snow storm. I went out that morning, take the children to their school bus, and see a beautiful white driveway. Long, loong driveway to walk to the bus stop. And I looked at the cane ... should I ? Am I going to be safe ? There's snow, it's a good excuse to use it ... Nope. NO, No, no. No cane. I came back still on my two feet. Upright. Excellent.
Now, these years with MS have taught me well though. As a regular MSer, I'm almost expecting this is a fluke. I'm just having a good couple of weks kind of thing. This can't really last. But you know what ? I'll take it. It feels great.
A year ago, at this time, I was planning my trip to Russia. Writing my lists, so I wouldn't forget anything. Trying not to think I was leaving my family to go for a treatment I was hoping would work. At that point, all I wanted was that HSCT would stop my progression. My secret hope was to stop it and improve my walking a little bit. But if you had told me in 9 months I'd stop using my cane. For a day, for a week, who knows for how long, I would have laughed. Not possible. I have MS. One doesn't get better from MS !!
But here you have me.
It's still not a pretty walk, lots of room for improvement. Some people might think I've had too much to drink when I walk. Lol .. but again, I don't care. To me this is a big step, be able to walk unassisted. And I'm enjoying it.
Have a brilliant day everyone !!
:)
