Me and my doctors ...

This entry was my husband's idea. Any complaints please write directly to him .. lol.

My relationship with doctors has been a very happy one. Reason ? I haven't needed them much. Up until I started having babies (back in 2005) I really didn't go much to visit doctors. The annual dental check up, the annual gyn checkup, the every-two-year eye checkup. Done. Now, as you all may know by now, I grew up in Chile, where you have to pay for health. Every drug, visit to the doctor, test, prescription, etc. You pay for everything .. so maybe that's what kept me healthy.

Then I moved to Canada in 2002. Free health .. wahooo. I got to meet my family doctor (which I kind of inherited because he is my husband's family doctor as well). Very nice person. Quite capable and even though I didn't have to see him much, he is the nicest kind doctor I've met. Always greeting me with a heartfelt hug and a smile. He'd have an answer for my questions and if he didn't, he'd look it up. Always taking the time to chat after the medical stuff. What else can you ask for. 

Then, in 2004 I got pregnant. My family doctor, Dr. S. sent me to Dr. K. He would deliver my babies. I was blessed again. Best doctor ever. Funny and relaxed like us. Busy, always had to remind him what number baby I was pregnant with .. lol. But he was very good to us. Had four natural deliveries with him. Nothing to complain. I remember every time I was at the Hospital, about to have the baby and the contractions would stop, I'd ask him 'do your magic, cause I'm ready for this'. Sure enough ... whatever he did worked perfectly. Still see him sometimes at my children's school. See ? I live in a very small community. So, it's a good thing we were very lucky with the pregnancies and him.

Then, I started with my MS symptoms. As I was seeing my family doctor more (Dr. S.), every couple of months with my children's checkups, I could ask him about my weird symptoms whenever I visited. My left arm feels numb and tingly ... 'must be a pulled nerve, stop doing what you're doing'. Checked. My leg is going funny ... 'maybe you're over exercising, give it a break', checked.

It was time for my annual check so I tell him the symptoms aren't really disappearing ... the heaviness in my left leg and the tingly sensation on my left fingertips never went away, I say ... this time he looks at me seriously, very unlike him, does a few physical tests and tells me I'll have to go see a Neurologist. Big eyes !! Oh shit ... that doesn't sound so simple anymore. So he refers me to Dr. N.

The only problem of health being free, is that appointments aren't that fast. I had to wait from November until February, to see Dr. N.  Too much time in my hands. I surfed the internet ... and quickly realized all the symptoms I had now, and some in the past, made sense with having Multiple Sclerosis. Nooo, it couldn't be .. what is MS again ? So, come February I go see gentle Dr. N. He sends me for an MRI and other tests. I go see him for the results, thinking, it has to be simple to fix, it can't be MS. Well, in the kindest, nicest way he tells me I have MS. I remember looking at him with big eyes. For the first time in many many years I had nothing to say. 'Do you have any questions ?' he asks. Well, he quickly realized that I was devastated and wanted to leave his office the fastest way possible. Little did I know that would be the last time I'd see him. If I had known I would have tried to have a more proper exit. Not running wild sobbing like. Anyway ... if you're reading this Dr. N., thank you for your kind words. If you saw me now you'd be so proud. I'm all accepting and knowledgeable about MS. Sadly, before I left his office he said he doesn't treat patients with MS, so he'd refer me to the MS Neurologist ... Dr. C. Ugh.

So now I'm in Dr. C's hands. I had to end up with the crazy one. He has smiled to me twice. Once when I told him I'm originally from Chile and he told me about his big trip down south and that he loved it. Second time, when I told him last December that I'd start my treatment with Tecfidera (MS drug). He smiled and almost did a happy dance to this one. Weird. Most of the time, when I see him, he takes about 5 minutes to read my file. I'm sitting there, across from him and he reads my file. Just think how long 5 minutes can really be. He takes all the time in the world to do this. Maybe he does it on purpose ??  He finishes, asks me if there's anything new and he writes down what I say. Very old fashion like. I mean, I don't really know him, he might be the nicest person to other people, but to me he's just not there. He's the guy that 'knows'. He should be open minded, answering my questions, guiding me a little ... I remember what he said when I asked if it would be a good idea to get a disabled parking permit. He said 'I see, we're getting desperate' ... What ? Really ? When I asked him about the Zamboni treatment he said it was a piece of garbage. Then I discovered HSCT. I asked his opinion about it and he asked me if I wanted to die. Why would I be so desperate to do a treatment with chemotherapy, he said. These are the guys that know. These are the guys that are treating patients with MS. I understand that he's a Neurologist. He doesn't know much about HSCT. That treatment is done by Hematologists (blood doctors). I get that .. but shouldn't they tell us, MSers that maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel ? There is a possibility to look into this ... instead of quickly get you into drugs that can cause brain tumors or death as a side effect. Shouldn't they also tell you about this aggressive treatment that could stop your MS ? Food for thought.

Well Dr. C., I am desperate. My mind and my heart tell me HSCT is the right thing to do. It makes sense. I'm desperate to stop this progression. I want to continue being independent. I want to be here for my family and children and myself. Yes, I'm desperate if you want to see it that way. I think I had to see him again about now ... can't remember and really don't care. He's not going to be any support. I wish, one day I can go see him again without using my cane. Do a happy dance right in front of him perhaps. I was going to say kick his desk too, but who needs violence .. lol.

This brings me back to dear Dr. S., my family doctor. He's been my medical support. I told him about HSCT when I first heard about it. He didn't 'throw it in the garbage', like Dr. C. He only said to read all I could about it, the good and the bad. Do your research first, he said. So I did. When I saw him again this past September I told him that by the way I'm having HSCT done, in Russia. And I asked for his personal opinion. He said he understands why I'm doing it, and then he said in an apologetic tone that current medical treatments for MS are very mediocre. I couldn't agree more. He got a big hug.

There's one more doctor missing in my list. The one I'm going to meet in Russia. Dr. F. I've only heard good things about him. How caring, whole hearted, empathetic, thorough and good person he is. He is there to heal you. He smiles.  But I want to see it with my own eyes. Then I can tell you.


Here's a few pictures of this week's Flip bracelets ..

Sandy, Washington

Kisha & family, Ohio

Kris & family, Alberta-Canada

Let's flip it people !! Love this last one .. lol.  The requests for the bracelets have winded down. There's no envelopes in my 'to send' pile right now. It might be the season. If you would like me to send you some please send me an email to xxiimmee@hotmail.com with 'bracelets' on the reference. I only ask for you to donate the cost of shipping them. It's really easy, just use the Donate button in this page. 

I thank everyone that has donated already and has sent me the pictures. It is so nice to open my email and find more people helping me to flip it to MS. Also thanks to everyone that sends me comments about the blog, or that sends me messages. I feel the support, the love, the encouragement. Thank you.

Have an excellent week.

:)