A Christmas miracle ...

This is the story of a magical night. 

As some of you might remember, a few months ago a dear neighbor came and gave me the money she had gathered selling hot chocolate last Christmas. She never found a charity to give it to, and I was a deserving cause according to her.

Well, a few weeks ago she told me they would be selling hot chocolate again this year and I was the 'official' cause this time. I felt blessed. Overwhelmed. Happy. In tears. Thankful.

Every year for Christmas, our whole area puts lights on the houses, lawns, some like big blow-up figures, others flashy lights. There's a lot of lit reindeer, Santas, snowmen, candy canes, nutcrackers. Some go really all out and install spotlights that shoot way up in the sky, or screens that run movies all night. Down the road there's a very dedicated Santa that shows up every day from 7 to 9 to greet each car. Sometimes he's joined by Mrs. Claus and I think there's even an elf. Anyway. It's a big show and people love it. Tons of cars driving by, buses sometimes too. You really have to time it if you have to go somewhere, and try to get out before the craziness begins. But it's all worth it. Children love it and why not say it, adults too. I think we just use the children as an excuse to drive and see the lights.

Everyone in this household was excited about the hot chocolate sale. It's a big night.

But I'm also Chilean. And we, as Chileans, are always expecting the worst to happen. All the time. I was sure something would happen the night that the hot chocolate was going to be sold. Horrible storm. Electrical outage. Snow blizzard. Heck, we don't have earthquakes here, but that could also happen. You just never know.

But nothing happened. All my little helpers had their Santa hats on and out we went. Everything was set up to sell the hot chocolate. Table, music, big electric kettles, cups and lids. But what I saw the most was love. My neighbor's family from Quebec had come to stay with them for Christmas, they don't speak a lot of english, had never met me before, but all I found was big hugs from them. Big smiles. Other neighbors joined in too. Children, all helping for the cause. My cause. MS. It still makes me tear up a bit. There were signs 'Hot Chocolate $1 for MS'. 

Some people felt the need to park their cars, get out in the cold and come to talk to me. Give me a hug. They knew someone with MS. A sister, a brother, a parent, a daughter or a friend had MS. There was this girl that still makes me regret not having more time to talk to her and her mother. Her family thought she had a stroke, she was in the hospital for 2 weeks without being able to move. Then she started walking with difficulty. She was walking to me with a cane, all I could think of is 'I hope it's not MS'. Then her Mom tells me she had been diagnosed with MS two days before. She's 22. It broke my heart, still does. So young. I wish I could send a message to her to somehow to find me again. You never know. I kept telling her Mom 'HSCT, remember, HSCT. Read about it please !!'. I really hope she remembered.

Anyway ... all the hugs from people I don't know, all the encouraging words. Having my family there, my neighbors, people just happy to give, made me realize I'm so lucky. I don't know how else to explain it.

I'd like to share some pictures of that magical night with all of you.

This is what my neighbor's house looks like. I look at it every night from my window. Beautiful.

I even got to have the help from Santa !!

Wish I knew her name. All the best to her !!

Yes, pups wanted to help too !!

This was the hot chocolate serving station with the direct help of my 3 yr old.

Me and Julie.

Anyway ... it was a big night. Big hit. People were very generous. I feel blessed, once again, to have so much love around me.

Have a wonderful last few days of 2014 and may the new year bring you happiness, love and laughter.

:)

Ho Ho Whooot ???

Oh my, time flies !!

I've been busy the last few weeks. Attending sports and school events, organizing different activities, finishing touches for this holidays, planning our Christmas dinner, etc.

We are almost at the end of December and I haven't had much time to think about how close my trip to Moscow is. Getting very excited .. hopefully Santa will get me that adapter I still need for my electronics (hint hint).

I did finish working on my two older daughters' stockings and I think I never posted the pictures of them. Here they are ...

They look beautiful, a bit smaller than I thought, when you compare it to the humongous I made for my husband but that may be good news in the end .. lol.  They are already hanging off the fireplace waiting for Santa. Working now on the next one. :)







It's been great to read all the good wishes. It's also been great to hear how well the last transplantees of this year have done in Moscow. Nice to hear Dr. Fedorenko and staff do take it easy once a year and get to have a break. My wish is that they relax and rest to start fresh coming January... by the time March comes they will be in great shape again. Lucky me !!

My children just started Christmas break. That means they get two weeks off from school. So they are very excited, even more when they wake up every morning and realize there's only a few more days until Christmas. 

I also have a few more pictures of the 'Flip' bracelets. Here they are ...

My BFF Kay, Chile

Nancy, Sari and pups, Maryland

If you wish to get a couple please just let me know. As you may have read before I don't charge anything for them, just the cost of the shipping. My email is : xxiimmee@hotmail.com. I still would like for the bracelets to be all over the world and Flip it big time to MS. To my knowledge, there's a few in Chile, Canada, United States, England, Norway and some in Australia. Some others are making their way into Germany !! Thank you !!

Again, I appreciate all the support, words of wisdom, comfort, answers to any questions I get about the treatment or stay in Pirogov. All the success for the patients leaving the hospital in the next few days and remember to take it easy. Thanks for all the new friends I've made. From far and close. MS is still a mystery but it has brought a lot of us together, embarking the same journey. Here's to us.



I wish everyone, from the bottom of my heart, a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Feliz Navidad.

:)

Me and my doctors ...

This entry was my husband's idea. Any complaints please write directly to him .. lol.

My relationship with doctors has been a very happy one. Reason ? I haven't needed them much. Up until I started having babies (back in 2005) I really didn't go much to visit doctors. The annual dental check up, the annual gyn checkup, the every-two-year eye checkup. Done. Now, as you all may know by now, I grew up in Chile, where you have to pay for health. Every drug, visit to the doctor, test, prescription, etc. You pay for everything .. so maybe that's what kept me healthy.

Then I moved to Canada in 2002. Free health .. wahooo. I got to meet my family doctor (which I kind of inherited because he is my husband's family doctor as well). Very nice person. Quite capable and even though I didn't have to see him much, he is the nicest kind doctor I've met. Always greeting me with a heartfelt hug and a smile. He'd have an answer for my questions and if he didn't, he'd look it up. Always taking the time to chat after the medical stuff. What else can you ask for. 

Then, in 2004 I got pregnant. My family doctor, Dr. S. sent me to Dr. K. He would deliver my babies. I was blessed again. Best doctor ever. Funny and relaxed like us. Busy, always had to remind him what number baby I was pregnant with .. lol. But he was very good to us. Had four natural deliveries with him. Nothing to complain. I remember every time I was at the Hospital, about to have the baby and the contractions would stop, I'd ask him 'do your magic, cause I'm ready for this'. Sure enough ... whatever he did worked perfectly. Still see him sometimes at my children's school. See ? I live in a very small community. So, it's a good thing we were very lucky with the pregnancies and him.

Then, I started with my MS symptoms. As I was seeing my family doctor more (Dr. S.), every couple of months with my children's checkups, I could ask him about my weird symptoms whenever I visited. My left arm feels numb and tingly ... 'must be a pulled nerve, stop doing what you're doing'. Checked. My leg is going funny ... 'maybe you're over exercising, give it a break', checked.

It was time for my annual check so I tell him the symptoms aren't really disappearing ... the heaviness in my left leg and the tingly sensation on my left fingertips never went away, I say ... this time he looks at me seriously, very unlike him, does a few physical tests and tells me I'll have to go see a Neurologist. Big eyes !! Oh shit ... that doesn't sound so simple anymore. So he refers me to Dr. N.

The only problem of health being free, is that appointments aren't that fast. I had to wait from November until February, to see Dr. N.  Too much time in my hands. I surfed the internet ... and quickly realized all the symptoms I had now, and some in the past, made sense with having Multiple Sclerosis. Nooo, it couldn't be .. what is MS again ? So, come February I go see gentle Dr. N. He sends me for an MRI and other tests. I go see him for the results, thinking, it has to be simple to fix, it can't be MS. Well, in the kindest, nicest way he tells me I have MS. I remember looking at him with big eyes. For the first time in many many years I had nothing to say. 'Do you have any questions ?' he asks. Well, he quickly realized that I was devastated and wanted to leave his office the fastest way possible. Little did I know that would be the last time I'd see him. If I had known I would have tried to have a more proper exit. Not running wild sobbing like. Anyway ... if you're reading this Dr. N., thank you for your kind words. If you saw me now you'd be so proud. I'm all accepting and knowledgeable about MS. Sadly, before I left his office he said he doesn't treat patients with MS, so he'd refer me to the MS Neurologist ... Dr. C. Ugh.

So now I'm in Dr. C's hands. I had to end up with the crazy one. He has smiled to me twice. Once when I told him I'm originally from Chile and he told me about his big trip down south and that he loved it. Second time, when I told him last December that I'd start my treatment with Tecfidera (MS drug). He smiled and almost did a happy dance to this one. Weird. Most of the time, when I see him, he takes about 5 minutes to read my file. I'm sitting there, across from him and he reads my file. Just think how long 5 minutes can really be. He takes all the time in the world to do this. Maybe he does it on purpose ??  He finishes, asks me if there's anything new and he writes down what I say. Very old fashion like. I mean, I don't really know him, he might be the nicest person to other people, but to me he's just not there. He's the guy that 'knows'. He should be open minded, answering my questions, guiding me a little ... I remember what he said when I asked if it would be a good idea to get a disabled parking permit. He said 'I see, we're getting desperate' ... What ? Really ? When I asked him about the Zamboni treatment he said it was a piece of garbage. Then I discovered HSCT. I asked his opinion about it and he asked me if I wanted to die. Why would I be so desperate to do a treatment with chemotherapy, he said. These are the guys that know. These are the guys that are treating patients with MS. I understand that he's a Neurologist. He doesn't know much about HSCT. That treatment is done by Hematologists (blood doctors). I get that .. but shouldn't they tell us, MSers that maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel ? There is a possibility to look into this ... instead of quickly get you into drugs that can cause brain tumors or death as a side effect. Shouldn't they also tell you about this aggressive treatment that could stop your MS ? Food for thought.

Well Dr. C., I am desperate. My mind and my heart tell me HSCT is the right thing to do. It makes sense. I'm desperate to stop this progression. I want to continue being independent. I want to be here for my family and children and myself. Yes, I'm desperate if you want to see it that way. I think I had to see him again about now ... can't remember and really don't care. He's not going to be any support. I wish, one day I can go see him again without using my cane. Do a happy dance right in front of him perhaps. I was going to say kick his desk too, but who needs violence .. lol.

This brings me back to dear Dr. S., my family doctor. He's been my medical support. I told him about HSCT when I first heard about it. He didn't 'throw it in the garbage', like Dr. C. He only said to read all I could about it, the good and the bad. Do your research first, he said. So I did. When I saw him again this past September I told him that by the way I'm having HSCT done, in Russia. And I asked for his personal opinion. He said he understands why I'm doing it, and then he said in an apologetic tone that current medical treatments for MS are very mediocre. I couldn't agree more. He got a big hug.

There's one more doctor missing in my list. The one I'm going to meet in Russia. Dr. F. I've only heard good things about him. How caring, whole hearted, empathetic, thorough and good person he is. He is there to heal you. He smiles.  But I want to see it with my own eyes. Then I can tell you.


Here's a few pictures of this week's Flip bracelets ..

Sandy, Washington

Kisha & family, Ohio

Kris & family, Alberta-Canada

Let's flip it people !! Love this last one .. lol.  The requests for the bracelets have winded down. There's no envelopes in my 'to send' pile right now. It might be the season. If you would like me to send you some please send me an email to xxiimmee@hotmail.com with 'bracelets' on the reference. I only ask for you to donate the cost of shipping them. It's really easy, just use the Donate button in this page. 

I thank everyone that has donated already and has sent me the pictures. It is so nice to open my email and find more people helping me to flip it to MS. Also thanks to everyone that sends me comments about the blog, or that sends me messages. I feel the support, the love, the encouragement. Thank you.

Have an excellent week.

:)

Under four months to Moscow ...

Actually, 3 months and twenty two days to go ... yes people, I'm counting the days. I even have a calendar in my tablet. Like a child I open it every day and see the countdown get lower and lower.

It was nice to talk to my dear brother on the phone the other day. He will join me in this medical adventure to Moscow. We'll meet there in March. He will go all the way from Chile and I'll go all the way from Canada. It will be great.  I was saying it was a nice talk because I briefly walked him into what HSCT treatment is about. It served me as to check if I know all the steps. Believe me, there's many. Fellow HSCTsers know. Now, I'm really bad at remembering all the technical stuff. T-Cells, white cells or red cells. This is why I appreciate other members posting all these details which I'm sure I'll get to when the time comes ... to me this treatment basically kills the cells that produce your MS or whatever Autoimmune Disease you have. I only need to know that and remember the basics. 

So to any of you that are interested in what is HSCT, in a very basic way, here is what happens right after you get to the Hospital.

1) You meet Dr. Fedorenko.
2) Pay for the testing that is coming in the next four days (about U$1,000).
3) 4 days of testing. To make sure your body will take the toll.
4) Dr. F gives you the ok to continue with the treatment and I pay the remaining U$39,000.
5) 4 days of stimulation injections (at 11pm and 3am). They stimulate your stem cells from the bonemarrow to your blood stream. This way they can be collected through your blood later.
6) 1 or 2 days of stem cells collection. They need to get up to 2 million of them.

.... this is the time when my brother should be departing ..good .. I'll spare him the really ugly part .. lol .. should he give me the official mohawk shave ? opinions ?

7) 4 days of chemotherapy ... this is what kills the bad cells.
8) 1 day of rest ... I figure I'll need this by then.
9) 1 day for transplant ... my good stem cells are going back in !!
10) Up to 10 days of Isolation to give the time to your body to get its numbers right (first down and then they need to go up). Remember, your immune system will be like a newborn baby.
11) Spend remaining days in Hospital, out of Isolation getting ready to leave. They also give you a dose of steroids so you can fly home like Superman, or Superwoman. May these effects last !!

All this should take around 30 days.

I'd like to fit in the first few days some site seeing with my brother, my Bro. We are in Moscow after all. So hopefully I'll be able to fit some of this during this time. Need to get some Russian dolls for my children .. someone suggested to get them before hand on Ebay .. lol .. my extremely want-to-be organized self says yess !! ... but then my other self convinces me that they wouldn't mean the same ... me buying them there, about to have a treatment that will change my life, hopefully. That time of the year might be my favourite too. Spring. New blooms will be in the air ... it's going to be dead cold for him though .. hahhaa. And I'm sure we'll get to meet wonderful people too. I tried to explain that to him on the phone ... but I'm sure he kept wondering 'why would they care'. Well, I'm sure all the carers, spouses, parents or friends that take a month off their lives to go and accompany a patient doing HSCT, do care. I told him about the crazy Australians .. lol, haven't said anything about their vegemite ... let's leave that until the time comes. I've also told him we are all like a big family, but I understand that.  Uless you are in my shoes, it might be hard to get.

So that's the basics of the treatment. My main goal in going to Russia is to get HSCT and finally Flip the {bird} to my MS. If I can squeeze some site seeing with my Bro, even better. If not, there's always the future to go back to Russia and explore. Dance the limbo on my way to Red Square.

The return home is a bit more uncertain. I guess it depends on your level of disability. I've tried not to think about this too much and mainly wing it .. as I do with many other things. I know I need to keep away from crowds for the first while ... or sick people/children (cough cough ... stay away from Mama four children of mine) .. do not get close to any animals (I guess visiting my inlaws farm with cows is out of the question) .. clean every surface I touch and wash/sterilize hands whenever possible. Some people go back home and need to rest for a couple of weeks straight .. some others seem more mobile ... it seems you can start exercizing with a Physio after 2 months. Other than that I'm sure I'll adapt. Not even thinking about the routines in this house ... Will I be able to do the weekly grocery shopping ? ... cooking ? ... will I be able to do the laundry or will that be too much too ? Drive my little one to Nursery School twice a week ? I will try to slow down on the children's extra curricular activities in the spring, so I don't have to go out so much ... other than that, I'll adapt, we all will. Life is about adapting is how I see it.

Lots of other things happening right now. Christmas decorations are in full swing. My husband finally made it home yesterday from Newfoundland. So the outdoor lights are being installed. The indoors is done, kindish .. I'm skipping some extra little Christmas trees that I had here and there last year, then I don't have to put them away .. lol. Call me lazy .. I just see it as practical at this point. Thank Goodness I left a Christmas village on the china cabinet last Christmas ... when I saw it again in March (yes, as you guessed, we don't use that room much) and thought .. nahhh .. December is close enough !! So now that's done too !! hahahaa. I finished my two oldest daughters stockings .. and they look beautiful. They are hanging on the fireplace. Started on my son's now ... and it's going quite fast, but won't rush it. I'm hoping to bring this work to Russia to stitch my way through them there ... I'll have so much free time. Maybe I'll try to sneak it into Isolation.

So that's about it. It looks like December is going to go fast. Very busy month, lots of school, sport and family functions. Short days and long nights. But I still love it. There's something about Christmas, about the lights, listening to my daughter play Silent Night on the piano. I miss all my loved ones down in Chile roasting themselves in summer's hot weather. But there is something so powerful in having a white, dark, cold Christmas.

My wristbands are going well. I need to pick it up though .. a bit more than 3 months to go and the box doesn't seem to be any lighter ... lol. Keep the pictures coming when they arrive. There's some ladies in the US spreading the 'Flip' and I really appreciate it. Again, if you want to get some just send me a few words to my email : xxiimmee@hotmail.com with the word 'wristband' or 'bracelets' on the reference. Let me know your address and how many you want. I only ask to cover the cost of mailing them. I do my best to try to flatten them up but I'm not convincing the Mail Office ladies. At this point they laugh when I get there. I guess at the beginning they thought I was trafficking something .. lol ... so I showed them the bracelets, told one of them my story and where I'm headed. I live in such small town that one of the ladies that works there is the sister of the former owner of the house we bought last year !! Small round world we live in.

Here's some more pictures ...

My God-daughter Fran, Chile

Barb, Michigan (love the braccelet, ring and nails combo !!)

Beth, Wisconsin

Janet, Michigan

Kisha and her boyfriend, Ohio

Thanks again for all the encouraging words, advice and support. They mean the world to me. Thanks also for the constant information from patients in Pirogov Hospital, Russia, right now. All the best to you from the bottom of my heart. I'm glad some of you are really enjoying watching the snowfall. Believe me, I get it. I came to Canada from Chile. It's summer there right now and we don't really get snow in the city. I know what it feels like to see that snow fall. I'm used to it now, but it's still pretty to see ... just not so pretty when you realize you must go out and dig yourself and the car out because you need to go grocery shopping .. lol.

Have a brilliant week everyone !!

:)

My day to day with MS ...

I've been asked many many times what are my days like. 

For family here in Canada, I guess they get used to my condition. To me, I'm so used to it but I do feel worsening very slowly. But then again I look a year back, and I'm pretty much still doing the same things. Maybe I slowly adapt, as my family does too.

It doesn't face my children to see me hanging for dear life on the stair railings at night, just so I can get upstairs. 

For my family and friends in Chile it must be different though. They don't see the day to day. They don't have time to prepare. I just go into their lifes again every year if I'm lucky. More every two years. I'm sure they can see the changes. I went there two years ago to spend Christmas and I was using a cane already. Funny story : a dear friend let us use her beautiful house at the beach for a week and I totally forgot to bring my cane with me. You want to guess what I used instead ? yes, my husband found the perfect alternative. We unscrewed the brush part and I was using the long stick .. hahahhaa. A bit too long, but there was going to be some beach walking so I needed something. I'm sure some people turned around to see this makeshift cane. But as you know, I entered the 'I don't give a damn' stage a couple of years ago.

This year when I briefly went in August, I was still using a cane. But I noticed I welcomed any help. Well, that could also be that my nieces and nephews are almost all taller than me by now, and they are all adorable. And holding their arm is at the same time help and their way of showing me I can rely on them. And I show them I need them and appreciate their help. I love you all. Just don't make me laugh when we're walking or I cannot give one more step .. hahhaha. 

I learnt a while ago that it is ok to accept help. To accept you need that help. It's ok to accept someone's arm to walk beside them. It makes both of us feel good. Many hands help me here at home too. As you know winters in Canada can be pretty tricky for people like me. I always welcome a hand to walk on the icy paths or house entrances. Better be safe than sorry. And my husband's family are awesome at that. Always lending a hand, an arm, a full body embrace if necessary .. hahaha. Of course I wish I didn't need it and I'd be free as a bird. But that's life. That's how I can cope now. And I'll take it. I've accepted it.

So, my day to day goes like this.

Early wake up at about 6.12 am. Well, the tv goes on at that time .. I finally get out of bed after 6.30. Get ready, look at my grayhair .. need to get it done this week. Turn everyone's light on, so they start their day. Make sure beds are made, complain when I have to help with some bed making except for mine, help with some colour combinations on the clothing .. lol ... get the little one dressed. If I were her I would just stay in bed, in pjs all morning, but she insists .. lol.

Then we come downstairs. Pups get out of their cages, get a treat, go out to pee (the pups, not us .. we do have bathrooms ... haha).  Breakfasts ... most of the time they make their own and help little one with hers. I'm preparing their lunchboxes. And watching the news ... and drinking my coffee.

Out to the bus. We walk our long, very long driveway and then to the road to wait for the bus. They leave, and I walk back. In days like today, I shovel the snow from our front steps and clear the car. And wish my husband were home so he can take over this task. I think 'frack' !! How deep in snow will we be when we can put the Christmas lights out ?? and I keep shoveling snow. Meanwhile little one wants to help. But her mitts aren't the right ones, so I go in to get her the others. Then she wants her shovel ... negotiate and give her the brush to clean the snow off the car. Nope, she still want's the little shovel and decides to takes the mitts off. She want's to make a snowman. I keep shoveling.

Come in the house. I have breakfast.

Catch up on mails and Facebook.

Clear the kitchen.

Go upstairs to give the little one a bath and work on projects .. hey gotta be efficient and use my time upstairs .. won't be going again until the afternoon .. lol.

We come down again and have lunch. Mondays are grocery shopping day so that's what we do. Tuesdays and Thursdays I take her to Nursery School. 

Come back home.

Get ready to go wait for the bus.

Get the children.

Help them do school stuff. Sign agendas, do homework, practice spelling or reading, look at their art, say it's beautiful, decide if the art work is a keeper or goes in the recycling. Tell the oldest one to go practice piano. Can someone open the door for the pups ? Empty lunchboxes, ask why they didn't eat their lunch. Eat their lunch leftovers. Fill up their water bottles and put them back in the fridge. Can someone open the door for the pups again ?

Start thinking about dinner ... decide today I don't feel like cooking. Who wants noodle soup ?? hahhaha .. hotdogs ... kraft dinner ?? C'mon, something easy please !! 

Start with dinner. I've learnt that having an early dinner is better than saying no 100 times when they ask to have a Halloween treat. At least I can put some good food before and they won't ask for too many.

Then, depending on the day of the week, we can just hang out here. Some others we have to go out to extra curriculum activities .. that would be Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and most Sundays. Remember I have four children .. lol.

Then we come back. Put the pups to bed for the night. Then our joke is that we race upstairs .. them jumping every two steps .. me, dragging myself trying to tackle someone's leg so I can try to win this time. Nope, not gonna happen, no matter what I try. Get ready for showers, get their clothes ready for the next day, pjs, book reading, turn lights off, cuddle, give kisses ... get some stuffies.

And now ... (drum roll please !!) Best time of the day for me. Get into bed. Ahhhh !!

To all this you have to add a bit of cleaning. Yes, I do clean the house .. mostly baths and kitchen. And change sheets, that's a job in its own. And now add Christmas decorations. And some odd painting/decorating jobs. Add shoveling snow in the winter. Thinking I should have cleaned the windows (from outside) while the weather was still mild). 

Oh well ... as you can see, my days are pretty normal and they go by quickly. I walk slower, but I can still get the basics done. For that I'm grateful. I'm usually spent at night, but each day is worth it. Yes, I could pack more in, but I can't. And I can live with that. I am alive, I have a beautiful family, I am healthy-ish and in no pain. I look at four adorable faces everyday that still think I'm awesome. With all my faults. I'm still beautiful to them. I still know things, and can give them all sorts of answers. 


My requests for wristbands keep coming slowly. Slowly but surely. The box is getting lighter .. lol. Here's some new pictures of my latest supporters :

Emma, Marc, Ruthie and Tessa - Canada

Mary - Texas

Mindy - England

So happy to see my wristbands are slowly going everywhere. We're flipping the {bird} to MS from all over !! Thank you from the bottom of my heart to each one of you. If you're reading this blog for the first time, please feel free to send me an email to : xxiimmee@hotmail.com with the word 'flip it' on the reference. Let me know how many do you want and your address. The only cost I'm asking for you to pay is my shipping cost. You can find the 'Donate' button on this page.

Thanks again so much. Please feel free to comment on here, I love to hear feedbacks.

Have a great week !!

Update on the 'Flip' Wristbands and other projects ...

Wow !!!

I have to say I'm overwhelmed at the response to the Wristbands. Who would have thought that after all these months of having them sitting on a box, some of them would see the light of day. Lol. 

I wanted to give an update on them. Some of them have crossed the Atlantic and are already in the hands of some brave HSCT veterans, or warriors as we call them. Some others are in West Canada and several others have made it to the US. Others will be send in the mail all the way to Australia !! This is so exciting. I thank each one of you.

Here's some pictures ...

Jamie, Sarah and Maddie - part of my family in Canada

Brooke - Pennsylvania / HSCT Veteran

Gwen - England / HSCT Veteran

How proud you all make me feel !! Thank you again !!

So if you want to get into this 'Flip the world movement', please feel free to email me at : xxiimmee@hotmail.com. Let me know your address and how many would you like. The only cost I'm asking for is to cover posting them, which is minimal. You can use the 'Donate' button in this page and add the amount. It's pretty straight forward. Then, please, PLEASE send me your picture wearing them. 

My days have been busy lately. I've had this burst of energy .. where was it during the summer when I could actually spend time outside !! I had excellent timing and planted some tulip and crocus bulbs two days ago with the 'help' of my three year old. I was holding off just so the squirrels wouldn't eat them. How could I guess that the day after I planted them, I was so lucky that mother nature sent us a brief snowfall and now all the ground is semi covered in snow .. yay !! Ximena 1 - Squirrels 0 !!

So that's done .. I hope to come back from Russia next year and see the flowerbeds full of beautiful tulips, crocuses and hyacinths. Love that time of the year, it's my favourite !!

What else .. as you may have all read in the blog before .. earlier this year I was doing big painting jobs in the house and did most of the rooms. Now I'm giving some finishing touches painting window and door trims and baseboards of the rooms I won't be painting. Trying to finish all that stuff before I go for treatment because when I come back I won't do anything. Just sit down and lay around all day .. lol .. (right family ?). 

I'm also working hard at night trying to finish my two oldest daughters Christmas' stockings. It takes me around 8-10 months to stitch each one of them and now that they are both ready I'm hand sewing them to look like actual stockings. The goal is to have them ready for December. It takes so long to make them that I forget how to actually put the pieces together, so it's a bit time demanding but I'm getting there.

Here's a picture of the one I made for my husband a couple of years ago ...

I must add that this stocking is massive in size !! Didn't think of that and now every time for Christmas I end up stuffing it with socks and some bulky stuff. The children's ones are smaller, checked .. hahhahaa.  I'll update with pictures of the new ones when they are finished.

I've also been decorating the house for Christmas. All of you that have had little children know this. It's not me asking them to start decorations in November, it's them. They can see advertising of Christmas on tv, on the paper, pretty much anywhere. So we're doing one item a day. That's all I could negotiate .. lol.


Thank you again for all the encouragement, words of wisdom and laughter. Life is good.

:)

21 things I'm ok with ...

1. Letting my 3 yr old eat popcorn right after breakfast when I need to get something done in the kitchen/or wherever and I don't need her 'help'.
2. Getting out of the house with unmatching clothes ... it was after all an unplanned outing. It's ok.
3. Leave a project for the next day, it's ok to procrastinate sometimes.
4. Dance and sing like crazy to a song you like, it's great for your children to see their Mum can still rock it !!
5. Cry. It's ok to let it out sometimes. It's ok for your children to see it, we're not invincible.
6. Let your children take over sometimes. Let them feel they are old enough, but then give them tight cuddles and pretend they are your newborn babies and that nothing bad is going to happen to them.
7. Laugh ... it's sooo ok to laugh. A good sincere loud laugh.
8. Stop for a minute, look out the window and get lost in the view. Take time to smell the roses, or look at that tiny bird, or the chipmonk running in a hurry.
9. Feeling sorrow. It's been a hard road, I've had to give up many things but I'm still alive. Then I put my smile on and keep going.
10. I can always rake those leaves tomorrow. It's ok.
11. Listen to your favourite songs very loud !! At home or in the car, let it all out !!
12. Start thinking of Christmas shopping, lists or cards to send in August ... lol
13. Let your children jump on your bed and mess it up. This one has been very difficult for me. I do not tolerate anyone jumping on my bed, don't know why, but last night it just made me happy seeing my children so happy when jumping and messing up every inch of it. 
14. Take a break and buy take off food tonight.
15. Let the rain soak you up sometimes. At least you're able to feel the water fall on your face. So you didn't bring the umbrella, big deal.
16. Not wearing any make-up. 
17. So I don't have that awesome sexy walk anymore cause my left leg isn't the same. Hey, I'm walking, I'm happy !!
18. Asking for help when I really need it. It's ok to accept sometimes you can't do it by yourself.
19. Having a bad day today. Tomorrow will always feel better.
20. Taking a day off everything, sit down and watch a good movie.
21. Laugh with a silly laugh just to make your children laugh histerically. Listening to that laughter will make your soul soar.

Cut the hair, cut the layers ...

So this summer I thought it would be a great idea to cut my long hair. I had thought about it for a while. I wanted to get my children ready for a bald Mum (remember HSCT involves chemo). Take it step by step. I just wasn't sure when to do it. There's lots of time, right ? Treatment is in March.

So one of my older daughters wanted to have shorter hair for the summer too. I take her to the hair dresser and when I'm on the way with her I think .. what the heck !! I'm going to chop mine too. All of it, make it super short. Yeah !! July. Summer in Canada ... not a bad idea. I have to say I was ready to fight this humid summer with my short locks. Yup !! For once I'm not going to be battling the weather with pony tails, have the hair up or having to throw cold water on my face. I'm ready, bring it on summer !! My hair was chopped. Wow, it was really short.

This summer, of course, was the best we've had. Hot and dry days. I think we had one, I repeat, ONE humid day. I got ready for a battle I didn't have to fight. The children ? Nah, they didn't need to prepare for any bald Mum. They can easily do that in a week. Now, I have to say, it was nice not to have to worry much about the hair. Summer, free, swimming all day in the pool .. or well, me sitting by the pool deciding when to get in and not get into any swimming race (that I'm slowly starting to suck at -oh boy, children grow up fast and furious), or unwanted splashing (boy I'm getting old). It was nice to live in that graceful freedom anyway.

I used to use my hair short, you know ? Back then I was in my 30's. I was working full time. Life was at my feet. I also had a ton of less weight. Hadn't had any children so no tummy whatsoever. No worries in the world. I had my pedicure done every month, I went to my weekly relaxation massage. Hair dresser every month. I lived by the cinema so I'd go to watch a new movie every weekend, in the morning so nobody else would be in the room. Eat sweet popcorn .. oh life was good indeed. Did I say I was lighter ? I didn't think of that, did I ?

See ? The trouble is, more than 10 years have passed now. Fourteen years in fact. I've gained weight, I don't feel so graceful anymore, I never ever have pedicures either. I've become very ticklish in my feet and it's just plain embarrassing to kick the pedi girl every time she touches my toes. Not worth it. Tummy I have indeed. I have had four children, and oh boy, that takes a toll on your body. My hair dresser (the good one that I save for awesome occasions) shakes her head when I finally decide to go to her in a desperate need to cover my gray hair. Oh yeah, another gift from childbearing/raising, gray hair. Cause I'm not 'that' old. No, no, this is just genetic .. hahaha. Life is still at my feet, but it just doesn't feel the same. So yeah ! I don't look as awesome with short hair as I remembered. But I pulled it off ... ish. 

One thing I really enjoy though compared to my 30's is that feeling of not caring. I used to produce myself every time I stepped out of my door, just to look good. I worried about that. What shoes do I wear today .. mmhhh .. which scarf ... which jacket ? I wanted people to like me. In my 40's I could not give a shit. I guess it's also different that now I live in a small town in Canada, where nobody pretty much gives a shit either .. lol. In Santiago, where I used to live (Chile), it's just different. I welcome that. So I feel like wearing yoga pants today, awesome. So I don't feel it like wearing make up today, awesome. Who I'm kidding .. make up only comes on when there's a party or special occasion. Even then, the eye shadow only comes on if it's really an important occasion. When I put eye liner and mascara I get the big WOW's from my children .. Mama is dressing up !! hahhhahaaa. I no longer choose a jacket, it's whatever is hanging in my hook. I pretty much use the same shoes, easy black-go-with-everything slip on shoes, awesome !! I do still like purses though. Everything might look black and gray in my outfit but oh the purses are gorgeous .. hahhaa. So I've saved some money on the clothing and make up area.

So here I am ... with now 'shortish' hair .. growing in a way that isn't too awesome. Do I chop it again ? Does the gray hair grow faster because my hair is short or has it always looked this bad after three months ? Is it a proportion thing ? It's a long wait until my treatment in March ... and there's a looong winter ahead. Crap, I didn't think of winter coming, did I ? I always refuse to wear a hat when it's cold cause it flattens my hair .. well, there's no choice this year ... and the next for that matter. Maybe I'll let it stay like this and at least a bit of hair will come out of the hat ... 

Everyone else has been very graceful and they all say I look good. Thanks everyone. Family and friends, it will get better I promise. I'm sure I'll wake up from this 'I don't give a crap' stage and I will take care of myself a bit more. Thank you to my family and friends in Chile. When I got to visit last August everyone also behaved and lied to me saying I looked great. Thank you. I appreciate every effort. 


On a side note, I have to give a HUGE thank you to a great response to my idea of the Wristbands. Thank you from the bottom of my heart !! I have some bracelets that will be mailed today to the US, England and some awaiting to go all the way to Australia !! You know who you are !! Thank you !! I can't wait to get those pictures and post them here. You've all been so generous too. Makes me feel amazed at life, at people, at how close we all are after all. I still have a box full of them, so please keep the orders coming. 

:)

Flip Wristbands around the world ...

First of all ... I want to thank so many encouraging comments from all over the place. Not here, for some reason, nobody comments here in the blog, lol .. but I have read so many sweet words coming from the HSCT forum, the Russia forum (where I'll be going next year) and from friends and family that I copy the link to this blog. I read each one of them and be sure that each of your words makes me stronger. It's so reassuring to hear people like what I write, considering I was about to delete it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Also, some people have asked me to include a Donate button. Which now you'll find in the front of the blog. I'm not asking for donations, unless you're wealthy and don't know what to do with the extra cash. But this brought to mind another idea. As I've totally given up on fundraising with my bracelets (I really suck as a salesperson -my 9 yr old daughter is way better than me), an idea popped in my mind.

What if someone out there wants to sport one of the 'Flip the {bird} to MS' bracelets. I'm not asking anyone to pay for it. What I'm asking is to just donate the shipping cost (so I don't go backwards on this). Hence the donate button. There's no set amount, so each can donate whatever depending where you live. I've done it through Paypal and it's pretty easy. As long as you have a credit card, you can do it. You don't need to subscribe to anything. The cost to mail it in Canada is about C$2.00. It was supposed to be cheaper but can't seem to pack the things flatter enough in the envelope and they charged me more, pfttt. I'm assuming the cost will be C$3.00 for the US and around C$5.00 International (just roughly doubling the cost of a regular letter).

So what do you think ??

I'd like to have a picture of friends and people I don't know personally wearing my wristbands from all over the world. And when you get them in the mail, please take a picture of you wearing it and email it to me. I can include it here, with or without your name, your call. Wouldn't it be neat ? There's some family and friends that already have them. Some here in Canada and most down in Chile. Can you please send me a picture of you wearing it too and I can put them in the blog ? I'll start with mine ...

By the way ... I'm talking about the blue bracelet. The other has nothing to do with this, my dear cousin had it made for me and that's only mine .. lol. Had to put this disclaimer, don't want any disappointed customers.

So, if you're interested in this idea, let me know. Send me an email to : xxiimmee@hotmail.com (don't laugh at my email address please -I created it long ago and I'm guessing I was bored) with 'wristband' or 'flip the bird' on the reference. Give me your address, let me know how many you want and donate the shipping fee in this page.

Oh I'd love for this bracelets to travel. I've had them stacked in a box for months with nowhere to go .. lol. Please feel free to share this blog anywhere you think people will get something out of my journey. 

Oh, I found a picture of my dear friend in Chile, here it is. Hey it almost looks fashionable if you accessorize it !!

Cata - dear friend in Chile

So please be well, thanks again for all your kind words. Thank you also for all the HSCT Warriors that are right now in Moscow. You got this !! And best wishes to the ones that have recently gone home after having HSCT. Take care of yourselves and take it easy. As someone said, it's not a sprint, it's a marathon.

:)

21 Random things that I regret not doing ...

1. Giving more kisses and hugs to my family and friends when I lived at home (Chile). It's never enough.
2. Walking on the sand every time I was close to it. Right now it's just a tripping hazard and way, I mean, WAY too much work.
3. Eating more empanadas, tortas de milhojas, cuchuflis, chirimoyas, alcachofas while I had them easily available.
4. Giving a bit more effort to my track and field days at school. Sorry Pedro (coach), I just didn't want to do the 5 laps around the school to start practice and ended up hiding in the bathroom so I could make it back in a glorious not-so-exhausted way.
5. Skydiving ... no way I'd do it now ... would not be able to get up again .. lol.
6. Run.
7. Be a famous paintor.
8. Tour Spain waaay more when I was there. Should have gone up to Barcelona. And heck, should have jumped on the train and see some of France too. 
9. Come out of my shell in highschool.
10. Finding that 'square ball' a client wanted to find for her son that Christmas. I was working at the toy department at a chain store for the season ... hahaa ... square ball.
11. Try yoga.
12. Skate more on ice. No way I'm even thinking of doing it now. 
13. Do my road trip to the north of Chile on a motorcycle .. yeah baby !! Now I'd have to do it in a tricycle and maybe just for two hours in the morning or I wouldn't be able to do anything else the rest of the day.
14. Say more I love you's. Give more kisses. Give more hugs.
15. Giving hell to that awful guy that stole my necklace on the bus (micro), when I was coming home from a day at Manpower (College).
16. Open my mouth and answer back to someone that is giving me hell for a stupid reason. I tend to be shell shocked and can't mumble a word. 
17. Giving more effort in my only gymnastics class back then when I was little. 
18. Keep up on my journaling ... should have given my brothers more thrilling things to read .. yeah, I know you were reading my endless lists of which boys I liked most.
19. Eaten my chocolate easter bunnies. I insisted in keeping them as decorations on my shelves until one day I realized all the backs were already eaten .. 
20. Using any sunscreen in my teen years. I remember having very bad sunburns .. I know I'm going to pay for that one day.
21. Given my dear Mani (Grandmother) more kisses. I still miss her dearly. She taught me many things, one of them to not have regrets.